I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
