Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
