I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
