So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize