remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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