oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
