How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Porn is love you can see.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize