I feel like abortions should bother me more
You smell like stripper and shame
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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