I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
