About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
