This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
