you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
