jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
