After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
