Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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