I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
