Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize