are you still at the devil's house?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
