my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Shame - the story of my life.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
