im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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