Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
