It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
