Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
