Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
