all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
