I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
