If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
