You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
