So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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