I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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