it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
