Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
