If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize