Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
