i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize