Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
