2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Randomize