Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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