hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
