we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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