its not stalking. its research.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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