Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
