So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
