FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
