I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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