Porn is love you can see.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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