i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize