Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
A+ Viking dick
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