haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
