Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize