JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
