I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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