We're like a lot better than the average bears
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
