Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
