super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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