the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
