My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
