i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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