If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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